My eyes fly open. It's time.
I reach for my phone to see what the numbers say…
1:01 AM.
I sigh. Lord, surely You don't mean NOW. I know I told You anytime was fine, but ONE? That's just too much…
I get up, use the restroom, my mind confused. Now what do I do? I told Him I would trust Him… but I can't get (and stay) up now!
I climb onto my bed. Maybe if I go back to sleep, He'll wake me up again at 3 AM. That just sounds way better than one…
Then the thought strikes me: He wants to see if I really mean it.
Do I? Were last night's words genuine or just play?
"Lord, wake me up whenever You want me to. You know how much time I really need to spend with You, so I give you permission to wake me up tomorrow morning. (Only, maybe not at 2? I'll trust what You decide, but it would sure be nice to not be then…)"
A decision must be made.
Do I mean it?
Of course I mean it. But I need a special measure of grace to actually get up…
And He gives it.
Five hours of time with God! What greater blessing?
"The Lord GOD . . . He wakeneth morning by morning, He wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned" (Isaiah 50:4).
I was given a very similar opportunity this morning, and I rolled over and went back to sleep. What potential that could have had! I'm convicted....this must not happen again!
ReplyDeleteOh! Thank you for posting that, Emily. I've prayed similar prayers more than once lately, but I haven't followed through. After all, don't our parents teach us all that nighttime is for sleeping? But next time, but God's grace, I'll take the opportunity. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing, Challenged to trust Him.
ReplyDeleteThis makes me think of a similar experience I had at GYC when I was quite exhausted. God rewarded me doubly for the time I spent with Him, and I was so much better off with that quality time communing with Him. God is so good!
ReplyDeleteYES!!!
ReplyDelete