Thursday, February 2, 2012

Do I mean it?

My eyes fly open. It's time.

I reach for my phone to see what the numbers say…

1:01 AM.

I sigh. Lord, surely You don't mean NOW. I know I told You anytime was fine, but ONE? That's just too much…

I get up, use the restroom, my mind confused. Now what do I do? I told Him I would trust Him… but I can't get (and stay) up now!

I climb onto my bed. Maybe if I go back to sleep, He'll wake me up again at 3 AM. That just sounds way better than one…

Then the thought strikes me: He wants to see if I really mean it.

Do I? Were last night's words genuine or just play?

"Lord, wake me up whenever You want me to. You know how much time I really need to spend with You, so I give you permission to wake me up tomorrow morning. (Only, maybe not at 2? I'll trust what You decide, but it would sure be nice to not be then…)"

A decision must be made.

Do I mean it?

Of course I mean it. But I need a special measure of grace to actually get up…

And He gives it.

Five hours of time with God! What greater blessing?

"The Lord GOD . . . He wakeneth morning by morning, He wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned" (Isaiah 50:4).